Living Fully

Since starting my own business and taking the long, bumpy, sometimes tumultuous roads toward my dreams, I made a commitment to myself. I will live this life will FULL engagement. There are times, like today, that this is really hard. However, my true hope is that the words below will offer some guidance and support for you, when you’re having a day where it’s next to impossible to see the forest through the trees.

When saying living a life with FULL engagement, well what the heck does that really mean?

It means making decisions you know in your soul to be right, although what we know is right is seldom easy.

It means not ignoring subtle signs and clues and that powerful intuition of ours, and having the courage to listen.

It means needing to believe in something far greater than ourselves, and trusting the process… as hard, hurtful and fuzzy it may be.

It means that we would rather be alone than to settle—ever.

It means not shielding ourselves from the pain of loss. Just because we know something in our soul isn’t right, doesn’t mean that it’s not going to hurt… badly. But we know shielding ourselves and building walls around our hearts only prolongs the grieving process.

It means giving ourselves time to grieve, breath and witness the emotions that are coming from within us. To feel is to be human.

It also means that we don’t hook into these emotions are accept them as a drama in our life. It’s about feeling the emotions fully so they can pass, not so they can take over our life.

It means to take pleasure in the fact that a full range of emotions and to be with each is to be fully alive.

It means that we know we need to be vulnerable to achieve all our heart’s desire. To love fully and openly is vulnerable. We know we must allow ourselves to surrender to the highs and the lows, to just be in the moment.

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On Listening to the Universe

universe quote

There are times in my life when the universe speaks to me and I do not listen. Maybe I second guess myself, maybe I’m not ready to hear what she has to say, and maybe (likely) I’m not even aware she is saying something at all.

Then, there are times where I get overwhelmed by a feeling and she seams to be shouting so loud I have no choice but to sit and listen. This was how it went down these last couple of weeks.

A certain leadership program has been on my radar for the last four years; but at several thousand dollars it just wasn’t in the cards. A few of my colleagues have attended the program and I’ve been so inspired by how they have not really changed, but have become even more amazing versions of themselves. Owning their impact in the world and taking on some unbelievable projects in a way that would not have been possible a year previous.

As my inspiration from these people increased as I saw this new way they were participating in the world, my yearning to take the program grew exponentially (and yes, maybe a touch of jealousy). Then I asked the one question out loud I had been afraid of asking, “how the heck am I going to pay for it?”. Which I now am learning is much different than my usual answer of “I can’t afford it”. One is a question (open energy), the other is a statement with no wiggle room (closed energy).

A funny thing happens when I open finally open up and show the hand I had been holding so tightly (I can think of a million excuses as to why and they all boil down to one thing… fear), a possibility presented itself… they offer scholarship opportunities!

So excited about the potential opportunity I sat down to do my research. So many questions were running through my head. Would I be qualified? What were the requirements? How would I communicate my vision? Who else was applying? How many scholarships were being awarded? Was I good enough?

As I landed on the web page, one BIG thing jumped out at me right away. The deadline. It was 3 days away. And they only open up applications once per year. More questions flooded my brain. OMG should I apply? Could I really get my shit together in 3 days? Could I wait until next year? And if I did.. would it be any good?

If there is one lesson I’ve learned I’ve learned in the last 2 years on the journey toward my dream, is that when the universe speaks, listen. And this seemed pretty loud to me. I concluded that I would apply and give it my best shot. No, it would not be perfect. Would it be any good? Maybe. Maybe not. But there is no learning if I do not take a step. So I did.

You can view my YouTube video application here:

And if you feel inspired to cast your vote, (I am so grateful!) you can do that here:
Voting is open from July 8th-July 23rd 2014 http://woobox.com/iajo63

It’s definitely far from perfect. However, what I did learn in the process is that I can accomplish way more than I think I can. While it may be easier just to say no and “there’s always next year” saying yes and committing is so much more fun and I learn so much more. And as cheesy as it sounds, regardless of the outcome, I’m proud of myself for listening and taking a chance. Now not to let my competitive side take over and check on the vote count every 15 minutes 🙂

In light and love,

Kimberley